Undervalued
By Nelsy Salden-Rebbens
“But, doesn’t that keep you awake at night?”
The question is asked with vicarious indignation.
That indignation is directed at the comments I make to him, half-jokingly, about what people say to me. They’re about how, because of the way I’ve been ‘packaged’ in this life, I’m sometimes heard or seen less.
They’re about the fact that, in his eyes, I’m not valued as I should be.
I’m momentarily speechless by the fact that someone else feels this indignation on my behalf. Speechless at the fact that, because of that indignation, a truth can no longer be ignored.
Speechless, too, by how much that means to me.
Sleepless nights
I now consider it a privilege that I didn't discover I was facing inequality until my career began. And I now see it as a blessing, because it has opened my eyes for good to just how deeply rooted inequality is.
So deeply that it can keep me awake at night.
The value of experience
When I started working and became a manager, it became clear to me that my identity as a woman and my style are not always recognised or acknowledged as strengths. That realisation hit me subtly, yet hard. I can still see myself through the eyes of the man who brought this insight to me.
I now have a great deal of experience with moments like this.
It’s what drives me to do what I do. It’s knowing that my presence in a room matters. That’s why I let myself be seen.
Because I know that what I say and how I say it is received differently. That’s why I use my voice.
Because I know that my earrings sometimes attract more attention than what I’m saying. That’s why I make jokes about them.
Because I know that I’m only experiencing the tip of the iceberg. That’s why I feel responsible for what I do with my position.
The financial sector defines value
Our perspective, and the lens through which we view the world, makes all the difference. The sense of outrage within us is not yet strong enough for us to take responsibility for what we value and how we value it.
Exactly twenty years ago, I entered the world of finance. I think it's a powerful place.
Too powerful at times.
With my broad range of experience, which I can still draw on for some time to come, I want to give meaning to the system and, above all, to the human experience within it.